Established 2021Volume VI12 teams. Ignore the math.

The official unofficial league archive

Eight GuysOne Cup

Six seasons of miracles, crimes against roster construction, and group-chat evidence that can never be deleted.

8G1C
Defending champ · 2025Dakota_TThe One and Only
Breaking: DT18 still owns the scoring record at 207.18Developing: Dakota_T has 3 cups and absolutely will mention itSources say: the draft room remains a hostile workplace
01

Front page

The stories entering 2026

Generated from the league ledger. The takes are automated; the grudges are completely real.

01

The throne

Dakota_T enters 2026 wearing the cup

The One and Only survived the 2025 bracket. The repeat campaign begins with the entire league aiming at one manager.

02

Bad blood index

Dakota_T vs. aoutland is officially the main event

13 meetings, a 7–6 split, and an average margin of 21.3. Nobody gets to call this friendly anymore.

03

The drought desk

SausageMcMuffin22 is still waiting for the confetti

6 seasons and 72 regular-season wins without a title. Hope is a dangerous preseason drug.

04

Record watch

207.18 remains the number to beat

DT18 detonated that score in Week 14 of 2024. Every lineup since has lived in its shadow.

Around the league

Twelve camps. Twelve developing situations.

One preseason dispatch for every manager currently brave enough to hold a roster.

Title defenseThe One and OnlyDakota_T

The One and Only: the crown is now a target

Dakota_T owns 3 of the league's 5 completed titles, including last year's. The only new challenge is doing it while everyone is watching.

Unfinished businessTug Collectorsjacksongilmore

jacksongilmore was one win away. Nobody forgot.

Tug Collectors reached the 2025 final and left without the cup. A 16–6 campaign says the window is still wide open.

So closeThe Apartment Managerqoutland

qoutland has been close enough to taste it

1 trip to the final, 54 career wins, and still no engraving on the cup. That is either fuel or a curse.

So closeSausage McMuffinSausageMcMuffin22

SausageMcMuffin22 has been close enough to taste it

1 trip to the final, 72 career wins, and still no engraving on the cup. That is either fuel or a curse.

Drought watchSack Tap Squaddinubs

dinubs' title drought has entered folklore

6 seasons, 52 regular-season wins, and no cup yet. A win over SausageMcMuffin22 always helps, but the league ledger demands more.

So closeTeam Slendermanaoutland

aoutland has been close enough to taste it

1 trip to the final, 61 career wins, and still no engraving on the cup. That is either fuel or a curse.

Reputation rehabFirst Down SyndromeShark64

First Down Syndrome is trying to bury an old receipt

4 seasons have produced 29 wins and 1 Sacko stamp. A deep playoff run would make the archive considerably friendlier.

Former championGolden TaintsMichaelKarsten

MichaelKarsten already knows the route to the trophy shelf

Golden Taints has a 2022 title on the permanent record. This is not a rebuild until proven otherwise.

Pressure buildingBONNIE BLUE 42nickmaher22

BONNIE BLUE 42 is one hot start from becoming a problem

29 career wins and 109 roster moves show enough evidence to make the room nervous. The next step is making January plans.

Former championLukeyBoiGmannLukeyBoiGmann

LukeyBoiGmann already knows the route to the trophy shelf

LukeyBoiGmann has a 2024 title on the permanent record. This is not a rebuild until proven otherwise.

So closeiBeSauciniBeSaucin

iBeSaucin has been close enough to taste it

1 trip to the final, 34 career wins, and still no engraving on the cup. That is either fuel or a curse.

Redemption watchDallas Carter HSDallasCarterHS

DallasCarterHS' road out of the basement starts now

Last season ended with an unwanted place in the Sacko Society. The good news: rock bottom comes with a clear view of every team above you.

02

Draft room evidence locker

The picks seemed reasonable at the time

700 selections plus every recorded pickup across five completed seasons—roasted with recent mistakes, expensive picks, and verified injury receipts weighted first.

Case files: 12Evidence window: 20212025Sorted by: recency × draft capital
New from the analytics basement

The highly scientific draft & pickup superlatives

Draft casualties use early picks with eight or fewer scoring weeks. Pickup casualties use additions made by Week 8 that produced four or fewer scoring weeks afterward.

Cursed manager201 curse pts

dinubs

8 draft casualties + 11 pickup casualties

Joe Mixon (2025) · Raheem Mostert (2024) · Jerome Ford (2025) · Jaydon Blue (2025)1 externally confirmed injury receipt
Waiver undertaker13 short stays

SausageMcMuffin22

Early-season additions with four or fewer scoring weeks left in them

Alexander Mattison (2022) · Calvin Ridley (2025) · Dak Prescott (2024)Waivers, free agents, and trade additions all count
Position monopoly6× RB

DallasCarterHS

Loaded one position in the 2025 draft

Diversification was declined
Repeat offender4 drafts

qoutland

Harrison Butker, again and again

2024 · 2023 · 2022 · 2021Same player, separate drafts
Special-teams trutherRound 8

qoutland

Harrison Butker in 2024

Earliest K or DEF selection on file
Late-round theft379.8 pts

jacksongilmore

Justin Herbert in Round 9, 2021

Best draft-year output from Round 9 or later
NFL franchise crush9 picks

Dakota_T

BUF players across the archive

Scouting or fandom? The court cannot decide
Case 01Last draft
Sack Tap Squaddinubs · 70 picks
Verified missing person

Joe Mixon, Round 3. Zero games. Gone without a trace.

dinubs spent pick 34 on Joe Mixon, who never left Houston's injury list and produced 0 league points. The foot injury erased his entire 2025 season; the Texans released him before the next draft. Travis Etienne was still there and scored 252.9.

Verified receipt · NFL.com
Next off the boardKenneth Walker · Jayden Daniels · George Kittle
Position habitWR23 career picks
Biggest hoard6× WR2024 draft
Draft-year output0.000 scoring weeks
Exhibits

Joe Mixon · Raheem Mostert · Tyler Lockett

Case 02Last draft
iBeSauciniBeSaucin · 42 picks
First-round curse

Pick 7 purchased four weeks and a torn ACL

iBeSaucin made Malik Nabers the seventh player off the board. Four scoring weeks and 57.1 points later, a torn ACL ended the season while Puka Nacua—still available—went on to score 374.0. Premium draft capital, free medical update included.

Verified receipt · NFL.com
Next off the boardAmon-Ra St. Brown · Christian McCaffrey · Puka Nacua
Position habitWR16 career picks
Biggest hoard6× WR2021 draft
Draft-year output57.104 scoring weeks
Exhibits

Ezekiel Elliott · Antonio Gibson · Russell Wilson

Case 03Last draft
Dallas Carter HSDallasCarterHS · 14 picks
Four-game rental

Tyreek Hill in Round 2: 53.5 points, then structural failure

Dallas Carter HS paid pick 22 for Tyreek Hill. Four scoring weeks later, multiple torn knee ligaments—including the ACL—ended the rental. George Pickens went four picks later and produced 287.9 points, because the draft board enjoys slapstick.

Verified receipt · NFL.com
Next off the boardTerry McLaurin · Jonathan Taylor · Chase Brown
Position habitRB6 career picks
Biggest hoard6× RB2025 draft
Draft-year output53.504 scoring weeks
Exhibits

Tyreek Hill · Jonnu Smith · Nick Chubb

Case 04Last draft
LukeyBoiGmannLukeyBoiGmann · 56 picks
Quarterback attrition

Jayden Daniels spent more time in updates than lineups

LukeyBoiGmann used pick 36 on Jayden Daniels and received six scoring weeks for 108.56 points. Knee, hamstring, and elbow trouble followed before Washington shut him down for the final three games. Dak Prescott waited until pick 96 and scored 307.78.

Verified receipt · NFL.com
Next off the boardGeorge Kittle · Jalen Hurts · Joe Burrow
Position habitRB19 career picks
Biggest hoard5× WR2022 draft
Draft-year output108.566 scoring weeks
Exhibits

Tyreek Hill · Darren Waller · Diontae Johnson

Case 05Last draft
BONNIE BLUE 42nickmaher22 · 28 picks
Seven-game layaway

Bucky Irving disappeared for seven games right after Round 2

BONNIE BLUE 42 spent pick 21 on Bucky Irving, then watched foot and shoulder injuries remove him for seven straight games. His 137.5 league points were respectable for a part-time employee; Jonathan Taylor's 360.3 at pick 24 were considerably more full-time.

Verified receipt · Buccaneers.com
Next off the boardTyreek Hill · Terry McLaurin · Jonathan Taylor
Position habitWR11 career picks
Biggest hoard6× WR2025 draft
Draft-year output137.5010 scoring weeks
Exhibits

Keenan Allen · Justin Tucker

Case 06Last draft
Tug Collectorsjacksongilmore · 70 picks
Injury sequel

Terry McLaurin missed a month, returned, then reinjured it

Tug Collectors spent pick 23 on Terry McLaurin. A quad injury erased four games, he returned for one Monday night, then aggravated it and vanished again. The final ledger: 114.2 points while George Pickens, selected three picks later, reached 287.9.

Verified receipt · NFL.com
Next off the boardJonathan Taylor · Chase Brown · James Cook
Position habitWR27 career picks
Biggest hoard6× WR2024 draft
Draft-year output114.2010 scoring weeks
Exhibits

Amari Cooper · Najee Harris · Nick Chubb

Case 07Last draft
First Down SyndromeShark64 · 42 picks
Sophomore shrink ray

Brian Thomas lost nearly 600 yards between Round 2 and reality

First Down Syndrome used pick 14 on Brian Thomas after his 1,282-yard rookie eruption. The sequel brought an ankle injury, drop trouble, only 707 yards, and 138.8 league points. Jaxon Smith-Njigba went next and scored 356.9, an immediate 218.1-point jump scare.

Verified receipt · NFL.com
Next off the boardJaxon Smith-Njigba · Drake London · Ashton Jeanty
Position habitWR17 career picks
Biggest hoard6× WR2023 draft
Draft-year output138.8014 scoring weeks
Exhibits

Keenan Allen · Diontae Johnson · Miles Sanders

Case 08Last draft
The Apartment Managerqoutland · 70 picks
Three-week veteran

James Conner's Round 4 season ended before October

The Apartment Manager invested pick 43 in James Conner and received three scoring weeks, 32.3 points, and season-ending foot surgery. The lease was technically signed; the tenant just left immediately.

Verified receipt · NFL.com
Next off the boardChuba Hubbard · Davante Adams · Mike Evans
Position habitWR25 career picks
Biggest hoard6× WR2023 draft
Draft-year output32.303 scoring weeks
Exhibits

Zamir White · Najee Harris · Leonard Fournette

Case 09Last draft
Team Slendermanaoutland · 70 picks
Veteran depreciation

Alvin Kamara delivered career lows at Round 3 pricing

Team Slenderman paid pick 33 for Alvin Kamara and got 98.7 league points. A knee sprain limited him to 11 games; 657 scrimmage yards and one touchdown were both career lows. Travis Etienne was available and finished 154.2 fantasy points ahead.

Verified receipt · NFL.com
Next off the boardJoe Mixon · Kenneth Walker · Jayden Daniels
Position habitWR23 career picks
Biggest hoard6× WR2024 draft
Draft-year output98.7011 scoring weeks
Exhibits

Zack Moss · Ezekiel Elliott · Tyreek Hill

Case 10Last draft
Sausage McMuffinSausageMcMuffin22 · 70 picks
Touchdown rationing

Justin Jefferson played 17 games and found two touchdowns

Sausage McMuffin used pick 5 on Justin Jefferson and got a healthy 1,048-yard season wrapped around only two touchdowns. That became 201.5 league points while Puka Nacua, available two picks later, scored 374.0. Not a bust—just first-round artisanal disappointment.

Verified receipt · NFL.com stats
Next off the boardCeeDee Lamb · Malik Nabers · Amon-Ra St. Brown
Position habitWR24 career picks
Biggest hoard6× WR2021 draft
Draft-year output201.5017 scoring weeks
Exhibits

Austin Ekeler · Najee Harris · Ezekiel Elliott

Case 11Last draft
Golden TaintsMichaelKarsten · 70 picks
Waiver wire preview

Austin Ekeler lasted two weeks after the Golden Taints called

Golden Taints used a ninth-round pick on Austin Ekeler. The bargain generated 13.1 league points before a torn Achilles ended his season in Week 2. Sometimes waiting for value only makes the curse more cost-efficient.

Verified receipt · Commanders.com
Next off the boardQuinshon Judkins · Zach Charbonnet · Jordan Mason
Position habitWR26 career picks
Biggest hoard6× WR2022 draft
Draft-year output13.102 scoring weeks
Exhibits

Tyreek Hill · Austin Ekeler · Joe Mixon

Case 12Champion's alibi
The One and OnlyDakota_T · 70 picks
Case dismissed

We searched for a draft crime. Unfortunately, this is the champion.

Dakota_T left the first three rounds with Jonathan Taylor, Ja'Marr Chase, Dak Prescott and got 2604.4 draft-year points from the full skill-position class. The prosecution has been asked to stop wasting the court's time.

Position habitRB25 career picks
Biggest hoard6× RB2021 draft
Draft-year output360.3017 scoring weeks
Exhibits

DeAndre Hopkins · Nick Chubb · Austin Ekeler

The curse index is an availability proxy, not a medical diagnosis: short scoring windows can include injury, benching, release, or a manager moving on. “No current NFL team” reflects Sleeper's player index at the last refresh.

03

2026 league desk

Everybody is undefeated. Suspicious.

The new season is linked and ready. Records and scores will appear after kickoff the next time the archive refreshes.

Preseason
Updated Aug 8, 2026
SlotClubManagerRecordPF
01
The One and Only
Dakota_T000.00
02
Tug Collectors
jacksongilmore000.00
03
The Apartment Manager
qoutland000.00
04
Sausage McMuffin
SausageMcMuffin22000.00
05
Sack Tap Squad
dinubs000.00
06
Team Slenderman
aoutland000.00
07
First Down Syndrome
Shark64000.00
08
Golden Taints
MichaelKarsten000.00
09
BONNIE BLUE 42
nickmaher22000.00
10
LukeyBoiGmann
LukeyBoiGmann000.00
11
iBeSaucin
iBeSaucin000.00
12
Dallas Carter HS
DallasCarterHS000.00
04

The hardware

Glory above. Shame below.

Every champion gets their flowers. Every last-place finisher gets something much less fragrant.

Champions' rowHands off the cup
2025

Dakota_T

The One and Only

over jacksongilmore
2024

LukeyBoiGmann

LukeyBoiGmann

over qoutland
2023

DT18

The One and Only

over aoutland
2022

MichaelKarsten

Golden Taints

over SausageMcMuffin22
2021

DT18

The One and Only

over iBeSaucin

The porcelain ledger

The Sacko Society

Membership is involuntary. Records are permanent.

2025DallasCarterHSDallas Carter HS
2024jacksongilmoreBooty Tats
2023Shark64Chicharròn
2022iBeSauciniBeSaucin
2021aoutlandaoutland
05

Head-to-head department

Rivalry heat index

More meetings, tighter records, and closer scores turn ordinary matchups into appointment viewing.

#1 rivalryHeat 118
Dakota_TThe One and Only
VS
aoutlandaoutland
713 meetings6

Average margin 21.34 · Closest game 1.32

#2 rivalryHeat 112
dinubsTwelves
VS
SausageMcMuffin22Sausage McMuffin
612 meetings6

Average margin 24.06 · Closest game 2.24

#3 rivalryHeat 109
jacksongilmoreBooty Tats
VS
MichaelKarstenGolden Taints
513 meetings8

Average margin 24.10 · Closest game 5.94

#4 rivalryHeat 106
Dakota_TThe One and Only
VS
jacksongilmoreBooty Tats
812 meetings4

Average margin 17.08 · Closest game 0.52

#5 rivalryHeat 102
SausageMcMuffin22Sausage McMuffin
VS
MichaelKarstenGolden Taints
611 meetings5

Average margin 28.98 · Closest game 2.38

#6 rivalryHeat 102
dinubsTwelves
VS
jacksongilmoreBooty Tats
611 meetings5

Average margin 26.00 · Closest game 0.42

06

The permanent record

Records, legends & allegations

The numbers do not lie. They do, however, lack important context about injuries and extremely fair trades.

The dynasty

Dakota_T

3× champion

2025 · 2023 · 2021

Single-week eruption

207.18

DT18

Week 14, 2024

Single-week disaster

31.20

dinubs

Week 17, 2024

KO

Biggest beatdown

156.48 pts

Vacant roster vs. jacksongilmore

Week 3, 2023

Career totals

The all-time table

Regular season · 20212026

RKManagerSeasonsRecordPFCupsSackos
01
Dakota_TThe One and Only
674447588.043
02
MichaelKarstenGolden Taints
651677078.001
03
LukeyBoiGmannLukeyBoiGmann
550445967.401
04
SausageMcMuffin22Sausage McMuffin
672467763.02
05
jacksongilmoreBooty Tats
666527326.561
06
aoutlandaoutland
661577514.481
07
qoutlandThe Apartment Manager
654647193.94
08
dinubsTwelves
652667033.98
09
iBeSauciniBeSaucin
434364199.881
10
Shark64Chicharròn
429414068.581
11
nickmaher22Big Nick Energy
329172847.18
12
DallasCarterHSDallas Carter HS
210121216.901
13
dillyspanksgive me the tat
16181337.24
07

Open the vault

Season archives

Champions, high scores, standings, trades, and the specific years everyone claims they were rebuilding.

2026PreseasonThe story is still unwritten0 games · 0 trades+
Draft first. Regret later. This panel will fill itself after games begin.
RKTeamManagerRecordPF
1The One and OnlyDakota_T000.00
2Tug Collectorsjacksongilmore000.00
3The Apartment Managerqoutland000.00
4Sausage McMuffinSausageMcMuffin22000.00
5Sack Tap Squaddinubs000.00
6Team Slendermanaoutland000.00
7First Down SyndromeShark64000.00
8Golden TaintsMichaelKarsten000.00
9BONNIE BLUE 42nickmaher22000.00
10LukeyBoiGmannLukeyBoiGmann000.00
11iBeSauciniBeSaucin000.00
12Dallas Carter HSDallasCarterHS000.00
2025FinalDakota_T takes the cup94 games · 1 trades+
ChampionDakota_T
Scoring high185.98Dakota_T · Wk 5
Scoring low60.44MichaelKarsten · Wk 13
SackoDallasCarterHS
RKTeamManagerRecordPF
1Tug Collectorsjacksongilmore1661430.30
2The One and OnlyDakota_T1661422.58
3Team Slendermanaoutland1571462.22
4LukeyBoiGmannLukeyBoiGmann1391286.12
5iBeSauciniBeSaucin12101298.30
6BONNIE BLUE 42nickmaher2211111292.72
7Sausage McMuffinSausageMcMuffin2210121330.12
8Dallas Carter HSDallasCarterHS10121216.90
9Golden TaintsMichaelKarsten9131211.48
10The Apartment Managerqoutland7151253.72
11Sack Tap Squaddinubs7151181.30
12First Down SyndromeShark646161187.48
2024FinalLukeyBoiGmann takes the cup82 games · 3 trades+
ChampionLukeyBoiGmann
Scoring high207.18DT18 · Wk 14
Scoring low31.20dinubs · Wk 17
Sackojacksongilmore
RKTeamManagerRecordPF
1Big Nick Energynickmaher221861554.46
2The Apartment Managerqoutland1681612.84
3Twelvesdinubs14101475.72
4LukeyBoiGmannLukeyBoiGmann13111558.34
5Sausage McMuffinSausageMcMuffin2212121543.90
6The One and OnlyDT1811131460.62
7aoutlandaoutland10141440.06
8Lets go golfingShark6410141411.14
9Booty Tatsjacksongilmore9151383.94
10Golden TaintsMichaelKarsten7171328.44
2023FinalDT18 takes the cup82 games · 1 trades+
ChampionDT18
Scoring high182.56qoutland · Wk 8
Scoring low34.20Vacant roster · Wk 15
SackoShark64
RKTeamManagerRecordPF
1The One and OnlyDT181771504.22
2aoutlandaoutland1681584.38
3Booty Tatsjacksongilmore1681575.56
4Sausage McMuffinSausageMcMuffin221681501.06
5LukeyBoiGmannLukeyBoiGmann14101651.40
6The Apartment Managerqoutland13111472.38
7ChicharrònShark6413111469.96
8Golden TaintsMichaelKarsten9151403.76
9Twelvesdinubs6181267.12
10Abandoned rosterVacant roster024127.98
2022FinalMichaelKarsten takes the cup82 games · 4 trades+
ChampionMichaelKarsten
Scoring high198.52SausageMcMuffin22 · Wk 2
Scoring low47.48jacksongilmore · Wk 17
SackoiBeSaucin
RKTeamManagerRecordPF
1Sausage McMuffinSausageMcMuffin222221761.84
2Golden TaintsMichaelKarsten1681600.02
3The One and OnlyDT181591499.86
4Twelvesdinubs13111606.60
5aoutlandaoutland11131472.58
6Booty Tatsjacksongilmore11131441.44
7LukeyBoiGmannLukeyBoiGmann10141471.54
8The Apartment Managerqoutland8161382.18
9iBeSauciniBeSaucin8161367.86
10give me the tatdillyspanks6181337.24
2021FinalDT18 takes the cup64 games · 1 trades+
ChampionDT18
Scoring high192.52SausageMcMuffin22 · Wk 16
Scoring low60.46MichaelKarsten · Wk 15
Sackoaoutland
RKTeamManagerRecordPF
1The One and OnlyDT181591700.76
2iBeSauciniBeSaucin14101533.72
3Booty Tatsjacksongilmore14101495.32
4Sausage McMuffinSausageMcMuffin2212121626.10
5Twelvesdinubs12121503.24
6Golden TaintsMichaelKarsten10141534.30
7The Apartment Managerqoutland10141472.82
8aoutlandaoutland9151555.24